At Christmas time, Duncan and I were on fast forward. We helped our best friends, the Berras move into their new base house in our neighborhood where we'd be walking distance for our spring wine nights on their backporch once again. We made fun of each others weird personal belongings. They made fun of us when we moved for some weird novelty Christmas item from my father-in-law and we teased them about the 4,000 puzzles in their middle closet. It took a whole car load to transport puzzles. They were scrambling to get everything moved in the few days they had before they left for Christmas and a three month follow on assignment to San Antonio where Lee could fly the T-38 with the USAF Test Pilot School when he returned. We were sad they'd be gone that long.
Duncan and Lee had just graduated in June from Test Pilot School themselves. Duncan and I knew when we first met the Test Pilot Couples that we wanted to be friends with the Berras. He had talked to Lee during their interviews and they both discussed being from Missouri. Sydney was a sweet, southern Texas girl that grew up on a farm like I did in Kentucky. We grew in friendship throughout the year starting off as being neighborly as I checked on Sydney after her foot surgery and Lee and Duncan talked about boring airplane things and school.
It was one night on our many dinners out with them that Duncan and I were late because we were fighting over me telling him not to wear some grandpa shirt and him throwing the shirt in the trash mad at me. This was rare for a man that never loses his cool. The Berras were also late and when they picked us up had been fighting too about similar wardrobe malfunctions and Sydney's shoes. We all laughed and knew at that moment that we didn't have to put on on show for each other. Rare to find people you can be your true self around in a world where there is constant military formality and social pressure.
As time went on, we began to make the dinners into a regular thing and before too long it was 3 or 4 times a week that we were eating dinner together as a family with them and the Vaughans. They are our family. The military creates this alternate world that we all live in where in the middle of the desert hundreds of miles away from our blood relatives you adopt strangers into your home and hearts to be your biggest assets in life. They keep you sane, they share in your joys, and you look forward to telling them about the menial tasks you did that day because they really care.
I told myself on those days I was checking on Sydney, I was just making sure she didn't need anything for her foot or at the commissary. Really, I was helping keep myself centered where I didn't get upset about how much Duncan had to study that year and she understood exactly what I was going through. Sydney is a good friend. Kind to everyone, volunteering to save all the stray animals in the world through apet, and teaching God's love to preschoolers on Sunday mornings, doing all the finances with her Accounting Masters without pay for the Officer Spouse Club's thrift store, and taking care of her family.
Sydney is special and their love for each other was one of a kind. She writes little love notes to Lee and puts them in his lunch, she covered their house in balloons and decorations the day he promoted to Major. On the week leading up to graduation, I worried that Lee might have to put a hold on her Amazon account because she bought him personalized gifts as a surprise for every day that week as part of a devotional to be a better wife that he wasn't even aware she was doing. They had so much fun together doing absolutely nothing.
Lee was her perfect match. Lee liked breweries, guns, jeeps, and airplanes. He was extremely intelligent in the book and practical sense. A distinguished graduate and good at everything he tried from career aspirations to grilling to child modeling to go kart racing. He also liked slippers, nice robes, plants and bubble baths. He planned all of our weekend trips. We called ourselves the High Flyers Club. We had our own group me between the four of us. It was mostly for memes Sydney created to aggravate Lee and Duncan and for inside jokes that Lee always seemed to call Duncan out for and embarrass him at Roll Calls. It was the happiest I've ever been in my life exploring the skies and trying out new adventures with true friends and I know Duncan feels the same way. We had all talked about moving home to MO together and buying homes in the same neighborhood where our kids could be best friends too.
Our skies are gray, our world has stopped, our hearts are weeping, but old friend know how loved you were on Earth as you watch over us from heaven. In memory of our friend, Lee "Swab" Berra who we lost on the 25th of January 2017. We miss you.
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